Matthew looked out the car window at the lines going by in the road. As he counted them he absently ran his fingers over the box in his lap. “Nothing would ever be the same now”, he thought. It was as if the world had ended - for him anyway. The sunshine beat down upon everyone and everything around him, but its warmth and light were unable to break through the shadows that had taken up residence in his heart.

His Aunt Maisy reached over from the driver’s seat and tousled his hair. Her eyes glanced down absently at the box that rested in his lap. She could faintly smell its contents, a sweet smell, like a ripe nectarine or an apple that has been sitting on the counter for too long. “Everything will be alright.” She said softly. “You will get used to it. You were always such a happy-go-lucky kid, you will get through this.” He answered her with a sarcastic grin and turned to continue counting the lines in the road.

With each passing line, he could feel his destiny drawing nearer and nearer. The car began crossing the bridge and the tires made a sound of a heart beat. Slowly as they left the bridge the sound ceased, the heart beat stopped. But he could feel the heart in his chest pounding faster and harder with each passing mile. The box in his lap felt heavier then it had when they had left the house – had it only been a few minutes? It felt like a lifetime. Matthew tried to breathe calmly. He didn’t want his Aunt to think he was a baby. He was grown up now. He was the man of the house. But the air wasn’t coming. Fear had its hold on his chest. He doubted he had the breath to blow out a candle.

As they made another turn he saw the shrubbery with the sign over it that told him they had reached there destination. “I can do this.” He told himself. I’m not a baby, don’t cry!” The car stopped, the box almost tumbled from his lap onto the floorboard, but he caught it at the last minute. Aunt Maisy turned off the car, opened the door and stepped out. She walked in front of the car, smiling, and waving for Matthew to get out himself. She stepped up onto the sidewalk, but before she reached his door someone else opened it first. Matthew turned to see a big man with a bald head and a beard. He reached in and Matthew held tight to the box as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Can I help you with that, big guy?” The man asked.

“I can do it.” Matthew said as if he were still trying to convince himself. “I’m a big boy.”

Matthew stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the huge building. It’s shadow fell upon him and a chill passed through his small frame. The man introduced himself to Aunt Maisy as “Mr. Carlson.” As they made pleasant small talk, Matthew reached into the backseat to pull out his back-pack. He had carefully packed it, he had made sure that everything he might need was in there. When he closed the door he turned and saw that both the adults were smiling down at him. Other cars were pulling up as well now, and Matthew saw their occupants emptying out onto the sidewalk and moving toward the building.

The man reached down and offered his hand to Michael, “My name is Mr. Carlson.” He said with a dramatically fake smile on his face that showed to many gums and reminded Matthew a little of his grandma when she wasn’t wearing her teeth. Matthew reluctantly reached up and took the man’s hand. His fingers were damp and limp like a pot of overcooked asparagus. “Nice to meet you, sir.” Matthew said as his hand retreated to his side where he wiped it on his new pants.

“That’s a nice box you got there.” Mr. Carlson said. “You got everything you need?”

“I think so,” he replied.

Aunt Maisy bent down to hug the boy. He saw the friendship bracelet they had made together on her wrist. The fact that she wore that meant a lot to him. She whispered in his ear, “You will be fine. You’re a big boy.” Now more than ever, Matthew wished his parents could be there. But they were gone. He knew they would have been there if they could. A bell rang and Mr. Carlson said firmly, “Its time.”

Matthew squeezed Aunt Maisy hard, swallowed the lump in his throat and whispered to himself, “It will be okay.” Aunt Maisy stood up and Matthew looked up at the building. He pulled his back-pack up more securely onto his shoulders and held tightly to the box in his left hand. With determination in his step, he walked up to the ominously gaping front door of the building. “One step more,” he thought as he closed his eyes and stepped through the doorway, “and I am a school-kid.”

Once inside, he walked hurriedly to his classroom and sat down at the nearest desk. What if no one liked him? What if he didn’t fit in? What if… The boy next to him looked over at Matthew and smiled, “Cool lunch box!” Matthew smiled back. “Thanks.” He answered. “Nothing will ever be the same,” he thought to himself as the teacher entered the room.