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"Why is it, in your opinion, that if one were to ask any of the six of us about our upbringings as a "Condon" you would get vastly different answers?"
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Kathleen Rebecca said - "I believe the answers would all be different because we had different upbringings. The major difference lies in the fact that there are essentially two families in one--the older three and the younger three. As we all change throughout our lives, mom and dad have changed over the years. I think we were raised by different parents in a way. And to add to that difference, the younger batch (atleast Sarah and I) had all of the older kids as guardians, too. We were raised by all of you, so we had a lot of people giving us different points-of-view all of the time. I'm sure none of the older ones can relate to that, but have aspects of your upbringing that we cannot relate to. Point is...family dynamics and personalities are so complicated that it is hard to pin-point one particular thing that makes us see our upbringings as different. Even Sarah and I have slightly different perspectives, because we are different people. Besides that, half of us grew up in different places, within different generations. Being a Condon means something different depending on what perspective you are coming from." |
| Sarah Ann said - "I have a theory about this. Whenever I talk to people who come from big families, I notice something. The older kids have a more negative view of having a "big" family and the younger ones have a more positive view. My theory is that the older children are more aware of the responsibility, work, and hardships it takes to keep a family healthy and fed. They are used to taking care of the younger children and might be affected by the "chaos" that a large family brings. When the younger child is finally old enough to know what is going on, the older siblings have started to move out and the house is more peaceful and there aren't any younger children to take care of. I know a family who has six children and the oldest is not yet married and doesn't want any children. The youngest in that family says he wants six kids like his parents. I feel the same way. I dream about having a large family and having lots of grandchildren. I also think that mom and dad have changed a lot over the years. Someone was complaining about their parents (no one in our family) the other day and asked me about mom and dad and I said to them, "I honestly can say that I don't have one bad thing to say about them." I feel lucky because I've never doubted that they love me or would be there for me. Whenever Blair and I have a big fight, I know I can call dad and he will take time out to talk to me and Blair separately and give us advice. I know that if I call, they will always pick up and not "screen" my call or if they are out, they will call me back right when they get home. And they are not perfect. I think that's what I like about them the most. They've made mistakes and been in tough situations but they always come out on top. I really feel thankful to have them as examples." |
| David Richard said - "You would get vastly different answers because we are vastly different people. As psychology majors the older three kids should understand that even if two different people go through the exact same experience, they may handle it completely different. While some see themselves as victims of circumstance, others see themselves as survivors of circumstance. In any case we are all very different people. We grew up in different socio-economic and cultural backgrounds. Dad's income fluctuated greatly from Long Island to Atlanta. Some of us went to public schools, some of us went to inner city schools, and some of us went to private schools. This makes a huge impact on how we view our upbringing as Condons. Jim, Caryn and Judy grew up primarily in the North East during the 60s through 80s. I grew up in several different places during the 70s and 80s. Katie and Sarah grew up in several different areas during the 80s and 90s. We all come from different places at different times. There are 16 years between Jimmy and Sarah. Sarah does not remember life before microwaves and VCRs. Jimmy can't imagine what it was like going to school and having the internet available. We were also raised by very different parents. At least Jimmy, possibly Caryn and Judy, remember Mom and Dad before they were Christians, this alone makes a huge difference in who they are as parents. While Katie, Sarah and I grew up while both Mom and Dad were very busy in the ministry. Also, Katie, Sarah and I went through a lot of stuff together after returning from London that the older kids were not a part of. This made us very close in ways that cannot be explained. It also explains why we have a very different sense of humor that is not always understood by the rest of the family. In any case, some of us look at our upbringing with regret and bitterness. While others of us see that our upbringings have made us who we are; who our wives and husbands fell in love with. If we had been raised any other way we would not be who we are today. Our experiences mold us and build character. If nothing else, one thing that all the Condon children have in common is that we have character. And some of us are just characters." |
| James Joseph, Jr. said - "I agree that the six of us are "vastly different people" leading to "vastly different" perspectives. We were all raised under such different circumstances - in different decades and during such different times in mom and dad's lives. Growing up as a child in the sixties and seventies was certainly different from doing so in the eighties. And yes, mom and dad were different parents for at least the older three of us compared to the younger three. They matured and they mellowed over time. I think they were much easier on the younger three. I don't believe many any of us would argue with these things. A child of a father who owns a collection agency and did unscrupulous things to do his job would have a different experience than a child of a father who is a minister. What I find interesting is the older three of us - very close in age, same experiences but very different perspectives. Being the oldest, I have seen it all - although I admit to not having the best memory. I don't remember that much of the early days in New York. I do have lots of memories of being in Lubbock and beyond. Like Sarah, I can honestly say that I've had great parents who loved me, believed in me and did the best they could raising me. I don't look back on my life as every growing up "poor", ignored or mistreated. I've always been proud to have the parents I've had and never doubted their love for me. I've been dumbfounded when I hear others talking about us growing up poor - we might have eaten a lot of beans in Texas, but we've always been taken care of and I was never insecure that we would be homeless or starving. I always trusted that dad would provide - even if it meant giving haircuts on the side. I also don't look back on my life as being stifled or mistreated. I believe this is where personality and temperament come into play. And yes, maybe me being male and being the oldest led to me being treated differently - I'm sure this is the case. There was always much competition between us older three with sports and academics - and perhaps with the "most favored" status of our parents. Clearly, the age gaps, change in parenting, and change of lifestyle and career led to different upbringings. What's not as clear to me is those of us who did grow up at the same time under the same circumstances having such different perspectives on what our upbringings were like. I'm trying hard not to judge or criticize and I'm also trying not to conclude that anyone's perspective is "wrong". I also feel anger when mom and dad are made to conclude that they were bad parents. I do think this is "wrong" and it is beyond me why some have had to have multiple conversations with mom and dad to try to resolve feelings about their "horrible upbringings". I may have a bad memory, and maybe I was treated differently but was my head so deeply buried in the sand that I missed something?" |
| Judith Maureen said - "Puke" |
| Kathleen Rebecca said - "Okay....next question..." |
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